February 11, 2023
About man’s fidelity!
…and there is another story. Once Thomas Edison’s wife told him: “Darling, you are so tired! Go somewhere, relax, have a rest, enjoy your time…” Edison listened to his wife’s wise advice, instantly packed up, and disappeared somewhere… The next day she found the inventor… in his own laboratory, where he actually spent the previous day and night, working with enthusiasm. To her surprised question, happy Edison replied: “Oh my, I’ve rested so well!”
Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) was a famous American inventor and businessman
October 8, 2022
François-André Danican Philidor (7 September 1726 – 31 August 1795), often referred to as André Danican Philidor during his lifetime, was an outstanding French composer (one of the main contributors to the Opéra Comique’s development) and even more outstanding chess theoretician and player (regarded as the best chess player of his age).
The story takes place in the Café de la Régence in Paris in 1777. A young musician, named Richard, wants to marry the café’s owner daughter. The owner agrees to give his daughter to the young man, but on one condition: he must win at least one chess game against the famous and outstanding maestro Philidor (who was a regular visitor at the Café de la Régence).
However, there was a tiny problem with that condition: Richard was a very weak chess player, and Philidor – well, you get the idea… Luckily, Philidor decided to help the young man. Richard played terribly, and Philidor did everything not to win. But suddenly, the sounds of a melody written by Philidor himself were heard from the next room. The maestro was distracted for a moment and… he checkmated the poor Richard.
The situation was terrible, and the great plan collapsed. But the genius Philidor found a solution: he told to the café owner: if he did not agree to the marriage, he would forever stop visiting the cafe… And the beloved couple got married!
On November 13, 1882, the one-act comic opera Battez Philidor (Beat Philidor!) (music by Amédée Dutacq; libretto by Abraham Dreyfus) was premiered at the Opéra-Comique in Paris.
August 27, 2022
The librarian accused me of stealing an A-Z Dictionary of Synonyms. His unsubstantiated insinuations caused me extreme discontent, indignation, anger, rage, wrath, ire, fury, pique, choler, antagonism, irritation, vexation, indignation, displeasure, annoyance, irritability, resentment, outrage…
July 23, 2022
Once, Niels Bohr and his wife were invited to an official dinner. When the event was over, Bohr’s family decided to walk home. For this small trip, the professor invited Hendrik Casimir, a young Dutch scientist, to join them in order to discuss some details of their future teamwork.
It should be mentioned that the young men had two main passions: science and rock climbing. Naturally, the conversation between the scientists went quickly away to Hendrik’s climbing achievements, and the young Dutchman claimed that he was already able to climb cliffs without any equipment. Moreover, Hendrik was immediately ready to demonstrate his skills.
– Go forward! – Bohr pointed to an inconspicuous brick building, and Casimir began to quickly climb up the wall. His rise was so attractive that the not-so-young Bohr (by the way, in his youth he was a very good football player) decided to follow his young colleague. Refusing his wife’s persuading, Bohr began his own wall “battle”.
We do not know whether the great scientist managed to get to the roof of the building, but it is known for certain that the sporting exploits of Bohr and Casimir were stopped by a police patrol. Breaking the silence of nighttime Copenhagen with a trill of whistles, two policemen hurried to the building that the scientists were climbing. The policemen threatened the scientists with arrest and demanded that they immediately climb down.
The police officers later explained to the astonished physicists that men who climb the walls of a bank (yes-yes, that’s what the inconspicuous brick house was), at night time, usually do it not for sports…
Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885 –1962) was a Danish physicist who made foundational contributions to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, for which he received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922.
Hendrik Brugt Gerhard Casimir (1909 –2000) was a Dutch physicist best known for his research on the two-fluid model of superconductors (together with C. J. Gorter) and the Casimir effect (together with D. Polder). He was the president of the European Physical Society (1972- 1975).
April 19, 2022
American mathematician and science historian Howard Eves about Norbert Wiener, the “father” of cybernetics:
…Norbert Wiener was renowned for his absent-mindedness. When he and his family moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be of absolutely no help, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move. Since she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to him. Naturally, in the course of the day, some insight occurred to him. He reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and threw the piece of paper away in disgust.
At the end of the day he went home – to the old address in Cambridge, of course. When he got there he realised that they had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of paper with the address was long gone. Fortunately, inspiration struck. There was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where he had moved to, saying, “Excuse me, perhaps you know me. I’m Norbert Wiener and we’ve just moved. Would you know where we’ve moved to?” To which the young girl replied, “Yes Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget.”
Well, and who was a genius in Wiener’s family?
February 2, 2022
Especially for the Doppelgänger week – an annual look-alike event that takes place in the first week of February, in which people change their profile pictures in the social networks to that of celebrities, athletes, historical figures, or friends with whom they share a physical resemblance – we share with you a few anecdotes about celebrities that failed Doppelgänger-ing… themselves!
- In the 20s, Chaplin imitators and look-alike contests were popular. Charlie Chaplin once decided to enter such a contest, and lost, getting only to 20th place.
- Once, Dolly Parton decided to enter a drag queen celebrity impersonator contest in Los Angeles without revealing her identity. “They had a bunch of Chers and Dollys that year, so I just over-exaggerated — made my beauty mark bigger, the eyes bigger, the hair bigger, everything. All these beautiful drag queens had worked for weeks and months getting their clothes. So I just got in the line and I just walked across… but I got the least applause.”
- Ernie Hudson, who played Winston Zeddmore in the 1984 version of Ghostbusters, auditioned for the same role in the animated TV series and ultimately lost out to Arsenio Hall. “I went in to read the material, and the guy said, ‘No, no, no, that’s all wrong! When Ernie Hudson did it in the movie…’ And I’m like, ‘Well, wait a minute: I am Ernie Hudson!’”
- Hugh Jackman went to Comic-Con as Wolverine, “I got dressed up in my full Wolverine costume. Not one person stopped me,” said Jackman. “One guy goes, ‘Eh, not bad.‘ And another one said, ‘Whoa. Way too tall buddy. ‘”
- According to Roger Moore’s autobiography, he witnessed Christopher Reeve walking through the canteen at Pinewood Studios in full Superman costume, oblivious to the swooning female admirers he left in his wake. When he did the same thing dressed as Clark Kent, no one paid any attention.
January 17, 2022
Once Socrates was on the road with a rich man. Тhey heard rumors from local residents that a gang of robbers was operating in this area.
— Oh, woe to me if they recognize me! – exclaimed the rich man.
— Oh, woe to them if they don’t recognize me! – answered Socrates.
One woman saw Socrates as he was being led to the place of execution. Weeping, she exclaimed:
— Oh, woe to me! They are going to kill you, although you have not committed any crime!
Socrates answered her:
— Oh, stupid! Would you really want me to commit a crime, deserve execution and die as a criminal?
Hippocrates used to say:
— Foolish is he who harms himself in order to do good to his friend.
Seeing a girl holding a lit torch in her hands, one philosopher remarked:
— Fire with fire… Moreover, the carrying fire is stronger than the carried fire.
Kethabha dhe-Thunnaye Mighaizjzikhanl (Book of Entertaining Stories) by Gregory Bar Hebraeus (1226 – 1286)
November 5, 2021
Once, Charles de Montesquieu was invited to an audience with Pope Benedict XII. As a special favor, the Pope allowed him and his family members not to fast throughout their lives. On the day after the audience, Montesquieu received the papal bull and… a huge bill to pay in favor of the church. Montesquieu returned the bull and the unpaid bill and said: “The Pope is an honest man and his word is enough for me!”
October 23, 2021
At the Hague, where Benedict (Baruch) Spinoza lived from 1670 until his death in 1677, the philosopher lodged in the house of the van den Spyck family. The philosopher and the owner of the house often played chess. One day van den Spyck asked Spinoza: “Why, when I lose, I am worried, and when you lose, you stay calm? Are you so indifferent to the game?” “Not at all,” Spinoza replied, “but whoever of us loses, one of the kings gets checkmated, and this pleases my republican heart.”
September 29, 2021
In 1248, St. Thomas of Aquinas, together with his mentor Albert the Great, went to Cologne where Albert was appointed regent of studies at the Studium generale that was newly created by the Dominican order in Cologne. In his youth, Thomas was very meek and magnanimous, albeit uncommunicative. In addition, he was distinguished by his tall stature, overweight and sluggishness. Among the students who also attended classes, the future philosopher was nicknamed “The Dumb Ox” because he almost did not take part in general conversations and did not show much interest in discussions. Albertus the Great, who discerned the genius abilities of his student, uttered the prophetic words: “You call him The Dumb Ox. I tell you, this ox will roar so loudly that its roar will deafen the world!”
September 4, 2021
In the year of birth of the heir to the throne, Philip the Great wrote a letter to Aristotle with the following content: “A son has been born to me. I thank the gods less for having given him to me than for having given him to me during the lifetime of Aristotle; for I hope that you will make him a king worthy of succeeding me and commanding the Macedonians.” Aristotle devoted three years to teaching Alexander. Once Alexander said: “I honor Aristotle on an equal basis with my father, since if I owe my life to my father, then to Aristotle – what gives it a value.”
July 11, 2021
What kind of disease is philosophy?
…I myself belong to the subculture that worships the status of physician, and when I was young, it was assumed by my parents that I would someday become one of those divine beings. I assumed it myself, since I took it for granted that my parents knew best.
However, the older I grew, the less I liked the notion, since it became ever clear to me that there mere of blood and disease doubled me up with queasy nausea. So I switched to chemistry and gained a Ph.D. Then, just in case that in itself might not be enough in a physician-centered subculture, I went further and joined the faculty of a medical school. Surely, I might now feel safe, but –
On my first day of laboratory supervision at the medical school, a young student approached me. I gazed at him benignly from my empyrean height, and then he said to me, “Dr. Azimov, are you a Ph.D. or a real doctor?”
I might have said that, from a consideration of history, it was the Ph.D. who was the real doctor and the practicing physician was merely a tradesman, but what was the use? I never really recovered. For years I kept saying that Ph.D. stands for Phony doctor.
Old Mrs. Finkelstein sidled up to a guest at one of her daughter’s social evenings. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, ” Doctor, may I ask a question?”
“Certainly,” he said.
“Lately,” said Mrs. Finkelstein, ” I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart-“
The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Finkelstein, but the truth is, I’m a doctor of philosophy. “
“Oh,” said Mrs. Finkelstein, “I’m sorry!” She turned away, but then overcome this curiosity, she turned back. “Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?”
From “Treasury of Humor” by Isaac Asimov
April 24, 2021
About Music, Chess, and Computers: Mikhail Tal
We played ten games with Tal –
Preference, point and billiards.
Tal said, “This one won’t let you down!”
V. Vysotsky “Honor of the Chess Crown“
Once journalists asked the eighth world’s chess champion Mikhail Tal (1936-1992) whether it is possible to draw a parallel between known chess players and musical composers.
– Of course, – Tal answered,- Mikhail Botvinnik is Bach, Vasily Smyslov is Tchaikovsky, Paul Keres is Chopin, Tigran Petrosian is Liszt, Bent Larsen is Prokofiev…
– And you?
– It is simple! I am the operetta King, Imre Kalman…
– And what about Fischer?
Tal’s lightning-fast response was:
– Oh, Fischer is a computer!
Mikhail Nekhemyevich Tal (1936 – 1992) was a Soviet Latvian chess player and the eighth World Chess Champion. Tal, also known as “The magician from Riga” in the chess world, was known above all for improvisation and unpredictability in his combinatorial style. Both “The Mammoth Book of the World’s Greatest Chess Games” and “Modern Chess Brilliancies” include more games by Tal than any other player.
April 1, 2021
This is dedicated to April Fools’ Day: A professor of creative writing gave a task to his students to write the shortest (as possible) essay with mysterious content and containing three elements as well: religion, royalty, and sex.
The 1st prize-winning essay was: “My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder whose it is?”
March 6, 2021
Once, lecturing in the USSR Academy of Sciences, Niels Bohr was asked how he had succeeded in creating such a famous and first-class school of theoretical physics. Bohr replied: “Probably because I have never hesitated of admitting to my students that I am a fool.” Bohr’s lecture was translated into Russian by one of the leading Soviet physicists Evgeny Lifshitz, a former student and co-author of the legendary Soviet physicist and 1962 Nobel laureate Lev Landau. Lifshitz translated it: “Probably because I have never been hesitated to tell my students that they are fools.” Lifshitz’s mistranslation caused a lot of laughter among the listeners. Lifshitz became aware of his mistake, corrected himself, and apologized. Pyotr Kapitsa, who was present, remarked that this mistranslation had not been accidental at all: “Precisely here lies the fundamental difference between Bohr’s and Landau’s schools of theoretical physics.”
February 8, 2021
A young man came to the famous Vilna’s sage Eliezer and asked what he should do to become a great scientist. – It is necessary to give up all the pleasures except for learning. You have to get used to hunger, cold, and poverty. And so on until the age of forty. – And then? – And then you will get used to it.
January 10, 2021
Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac (1902 – 1984), English theoretical physicist, one of the founders of quantum mechanics. He shared the 1933 Nobel Prize in Physics with Erwin Schrödinger “for the discovery of new productive forms of atomic theory.”
Once, at the question period after a Dirac lecture at the University of Toronto, somebody in the audience remarked: “Professor Dirac, I do not understand how you derived the formula on the top left side of the blackboard.” “This is not a question,” snapped Dirac, “it is a statement. Next question, please.”
Once, in the scientific seminar in Copenhagen, Oskar Klein and Yoshio Nishina reported their derivation of the famous Klein-Nishina formula describing collisions between electrons and gamma quanta. Somebody in the audience remarked that in the formula as written on the blackboard the second term had a negative sign, whereas in the manuscript the sign was positive. “Oh,” said Nishina, “in the manuscript the signs are certainly correct, but here on the blackboard I must have made a mistake in a sign in someplace.” Dirac immediately said: “In an odd number of places!”
December 3, 2020
The reflecting telescope, invented by Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727), was free of chromatic aberration – the main issue of the refractive telescopes back then. It made a lot of excitement in the scientific society of England, and Newton’s friend Isaac Barrow showed the telescope to a small group from the Royal Society of London at the end of 1671. They were so impressed that they demonstrated it to King Charles II in January 1672. Newton was declared as a fellow of the society in the same year.
Many years later, John Conduitt – Newton’s relative – once asked him:
— Tell me, who is this skilled craftsman who made a mirror for your telescope?
— It was me. I made a mirror by myself – Newton replied.
— But where did you get the machinery equipment and all the tools?
— I made them by myself as well. If I waited for someone to do something for me, I would never have done anything at all.
October 8, 2020
Newton’s visitors complained that the gate to his yard was incredibly hard to move. One of the guests after finally managing to open the gate hurried to the scientist to complain about this annoying matter. He suggested that they change the gate by something handier. The scientist answered: ‘I don’t know what can be handier, each opening adds to the water tank not less than a gallon of water.’
September 5, 2020
The prominent German physicist Wilhelm Konrad Röntgen received a letter asking him to send… some X-rays with instructions on how to use them. It turned out that the author of the letter had a bullet stuck in the chest, but he did not have time to go to the Röntgen.
Röntgen was a man with a good sense of humor and answered the letter as follows:
“Unfortunately, I do not have X-rays at the moment, and transportation of it is very difficult. I think we can do it easier: send me your chest.”
–
At the beginning of Einstein’s scientific career, one journalist asked Mrs. Einstein, what does she think about her husband.
– My husband is a genius! – said Mrs. Einstein. – He knows how to do absolutely everything except money.
–
David Hilbert (1862–1943 one of the most famous mathematicians of the XX century) was asked about one of his former students.
– Ah, this one? – remembered Hilbert. – He became a poet. For mathematics, he had too little imagination.
July 25, 2020
The following problem can be solved either in a simple or complex way.
Two trains on the same track starting to move simultaneously towards each other at speeds of 50 miles per hour from sites, located 200 miles away from each other. A fly flies continuously between trains at a speed of 75 miles per hour. Having reached one of the trains, it turns around and flies to another train. What is the total distance the fly flies before the trains collide?
The problem can be solved by summing up an infinite series of distances between trains.
Alternatively, it can be solved this way: The trains will collide in 200 / (50 + 50) = 2 hours, the speed of the fly is known, which means that it flies 75 x 2 = 150 miles during this time.
When this problem was proposed to John Von Neumann (one of the greatest mathematicians of the XX century), he immediately replied: “150 miles.”
– It is amazing! But almost all of the respondents tried to calculate the sum of infinite series! – the questioner exclaimed.
– What’s so surprising? – Von Neumann asked. – That exactly what I did!
June 25, 2020
The following story was once famous within the international academic clique. A few years ago, a student from a very prestigious Britain university, during an examination, popped up and asked the proctor to bring him some meat and beer (at the University’s expense, of course) – without these, he won’t continue the exam.
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me meat and beer.
Confused proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. According to an old law that is still nominally in effect, the University must provide “Gentlemen sitting examinations meat and beer”. Hence, I request and require that you bring me meat and beer.
While saying that, the student-produced a copy of the five-hundred-year-old Laws of The University and pointed to the relevant section.
The proctor had no other choice except fulfilling the student’s request. Afterward, the exam could continue.
Nevertheless, the story did not end here. A few days later the student was summoned to the university ethics commission for a hearing, and the head of the commission officially announced the verdict:
Since the student came to the exam without the right clothes and a sword appropriate for this occasion (to which there are confirmations from respected and reliable witnesses), his exam is disqualified! Besides, for disrespecting the honorable teachers the student is required to pay a large fine.
At the same time, the student was presented with relevant articles of laws from an even more ancient book.
Whether the story ended with a fine, re-examination, or an expulsion from this traditions-respecting institution, remained a secret… But all in all, exam day is a happy day!
June 16, 2020
In 1802, the French scientist Jose Louis Gay-Lussac conducted scientific experiments in Paris. He needed glass tubes, which were then produced by glassblowers only in Germany. When the scientist made the order, the French customs imposed such a high fee that he could not redeem the parcel.
Alexander Humbold heard about this and decided to help Gay-Lussac. He advised the senders to seal the ends of the tubes and stick labels on them: “Caution! Air!”
Air? There was no customs tariff for air, and this time the pipes reached the French scientist without any customs duty.
May 27, 2020
Einstein: What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!
Chaplin: True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say.
May 5, 2020
The rector of the university looked at the budget estimate that the dean of the physics department brought to him, and, with a sigh, said:
– Why do physicists always require such expensive equipment? For example, mathematicians only ask for money on paper, pencils, and erasers.
And, after giving it another thought, he added:
– And philosophers, those are even better. They don’t even need erasers.
The joke is based on a published text “Treasury of Humour” by Isaac Azimov.
April 18, 2020
A quantitative approach to parenting.
- The noise level (in decibels) is inversely proportional to the amount of energy spent to calm it down.
- The energy (in Joules) required to remove a child from the room is directly proportional to the degree of the prohibition of the topic under discussion.
- The half-life (lifetime) of a gift is inversely proportional to its price.
“Lancet”, October 1958
April 7, 2020
“I just can’t find an assistant for myself,” Edison once complained to Einstein.
– Every day young people come in, but not one is suitable.
– And how do you determine their suitability? Einstein asked.
Edison showed him a question sheet.
“Whoever answers them will become my assistant.”
“How many miles from New York to Chicago?” – Einstein read and replied: “I need to look into the railway directory.” “What are stainless steels made of?” – “This can be found in the reference book on metallurgy…”.
Glancing at the rest of the questions, Einstein said:
– Without waiting for a refusal, I withdraw my candidacy myself.
March 18, 2020
Scientists from Harvard University observed the reproduction of white mice and concluded that mice reproduce much faster when they are not disturbed by scientists from Harvard University.
March 1, 2020
The author of the third law of thermodynamics, Walter Nernst, bred carps as a hobby. Once, someone thoughtfully remarked:
– A strange choice. Even breeding chicken is more interesting.
Nernst calmly answered:
– I breed animals that are in thermodynamic equilibrium with the environment. To breed warm-blooded animals, means to warm up the universe at your own expense.
February 12, 2020
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop.
The cop says, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg says, “No, but I know where I am.”
January 9, 2020
A teacher asked a student in physics exam:
Teacher: Which one is bigger: the speed of light or the speed of sound?
Student: The speed of sound, of course!
Teacher: But why?!?!
Student: When you are switching TV, first you hear the sound, and only then you see the picture.
December 30, 2019
Niels Bohr hung a horseshoe on the door of his house. Having noticed this fact, one of his guests asked the scientist:
– Do you, a world famous physicist, really believe that a horseshoe above a door brings luck?
– Oh, I don’t believe in it. But I am told it works even if you don’t believe in it.
December 15, 2019
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his chauffeur said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.”
Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly. Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
December 7, 2019
Max Born once chose astronomy as an oral exam on doctoral degree. When he came to the exam to the famous astronomer-physicist Schwarzschild, he asked him the following question:
– What do you do when you see a shooting star?
Born, who understood that it was necessary to answer this way: “I would look at the clock, noticed the time, determined the constellation from which it appeared, direction of movement, length of the luminous trajectory and then would calculate approximate trajectory,” could not resist and replied:
– I make a wish.
November 16, 2019
Maxwell, Newton and Einstein argued which area of physics is more ancient.
Maxwell says:
– When the Lord expelled Adam and Eve from paradise, he struck with lightning and induced an electromagnetic field, which I described in my equations.
Newton said:
– Nonsense, the reason for the exile was that an apple fell on Eve’s head under the influence of gravity, so the classical mechanics are the oldest.
Einstein said:
– Friends, when the Lord said: “Let there be light,” the speed of light and the concept of the theory of relativity had been already postulated.
November 11, 2019
In Paradise, Archimedes, Pascal and Newton play hide and seek. Archimedes leads and begins to count. Pascal runs off the horizon, and Newton looks around, takes a stick, draws a square around himself with a side of one meter and becomes inside the square. Archimedes finishes counting, opens his eyes and sees Newton:
– I see Newton!
– Uh, no! Newton per square meter is Pascal!